


of silencing spells and other things people do before making out

by cadunt



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, MWPP Era, Pining, Slow Burn, Swearing, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 08:22:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14351637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadunt/pseuds/cadunt
Summary: Remus is worried about his future. Sirius doesn't know what a superhero is.Romance occurs.(also James Potter laughs a lot)





	of silencing spells and other things people do before making out

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Harry Potter and these characters. I am not making profit with this work.

“Well, fuck”

“Language, Mr Lupin” McGonagall shuts him up, handing the rest of the timetables to the other Gryffindors sat at the table in the Great Hall.

Peter puts a hand in front of his mouth, trying not to laugh out loud.

Remus rolls his eyes. Why is it always so funny that he curses? Is it any better to use a politely astonished “Oh Merlin”? No. It just doesn’t have the same effect of cursing the muggle way.

“Why all that fuss?” James asks, leaning over his shoulder to look at Remus’ timetable “It’s not bad. We’re all free on Thursday afternoons, that’ll come in handy when it comes to planning”.

“Planning for what?” Peter asks.

_Really now?_

“Pranks, Peter” Remus answers him “Planning for pranks”.

The boy’s mouth turns into the sneer he usually makes when he’s confused “What? You’ve already got ideas?” he says just before helping himself to another sausage.

James shrugs “Well, no” he admits “But I will have. I have to. Beating your best and all that…”

“You genuinely think we could pull something better than last year’s work?” Remus asks.

James turns to face him, wiping his mouth with a paper towel. _When did he become so well mannered?_ Remus wonders, before catching his friend glancing quickly at Lily a couple of sits behind them. _That’s why._

“We must try” James states.

Remus raises his eyebrows. If only he could raise just one, that’d be much more effective, wouldn’t it? “Do you even remember how much work that took? How many hours to perfect those bloody sticking charms so that the colours would last for a week?”

“Yes, but we won’t have the OWLS this year”

“He’s right” Peter says.

Remus shakes his head “You don’t even have an idea yet. Besides, that doesn’t mean we’ll have more free time”.

“Sirius will come up with something, as he always does” James reassures him “And as for the time, we’ll manage, as we always have. Or are you really that worried about your schedule?” he asks, glancing at Remus’ paper again.

The werewolf looks down. He can’t stand looking at James in the eyes and they all know that. Why does he have to try it every time?

“It’s not that” he tries to evade the question.

Peter wolfs down the last piece of sausage and takes his timetable, going over it “It’s not that bad, Moony. You have as many hours as me. And I take way more time to learn things than you do”.

“Pass it here” James asks, reaching for the paper.

“Give me some time, you’ve already looked at it” Peter says.

“Not well enough”.

Remus isn’t worried about them nosing around his stuff, it’s not like they will think much of it. It’s not the hours of work he’s worried about. It’s the meeting with McGonagall that’s schedule in two weeks to talk about his _future plans_.

Like he has any chance at a decent future.

He just hopes he’ll have a few more days before his friends get it’s that he’s worried about.

“How’s Sirius’ timetable?” he asks James, trying to change the subject.

“Same as mine” James shrugs, handing it over for Remus to see.

Their schedule isn’t anything surprising, he pretty much expected James and Sirius to take up all the Auror required subjects. It’s not like he envies them, he wasn’t exactly disappointed to give up Potions this year. But still, it hurts to be able to see their brilliant future so clearly just from a timetable.

_Get over yourself, you idiot_.

“Speaking of Sirius” Pete starts, finally handing the paper back to James to quiet him “He’s taking so long”.

Sirius had gone over to Dumbledore’s office to discuss the matters of his parents trying to contact him during the school year. After he had run away to the Potters’ house in the summer, Walburga and Orion Black had tried to convince their son to come back a few times, the most memorable one by violating the privacy statute and apparating directly into the Potters’ living room to take Sirius back. They hadn’t succeeded and since that time they had stuck to their weekly Howlers threatening to disinherit him.

Still, Sirius didn’t look forward to the whole of Hogwarts knowing he had run away when new Howlers would come with the rest of the Owl Post. He sought another kind of attention. Hence the meeting with the Headmaster to try and block post from his parents all together.

James shrugs “He’ll meet us in Charms if he’s late” he states, standing up from the table.

Remus imitates him “Are you going to eat that?” he asks Pete, pointing at the piece of toast left on his plate.

“No, I’m full”.

Remus stretches on the other side of the table to take the toast and wraps it in some paper-towels.

“That’ll do”.

Wormtail stands up too and starts walking towards the door. Remus makes to follow but he stops when he spots James standing still behind him, like he’s waiting for Sirius to say something. He can’t see him, but he knows that he’s watching him. He can feel the burn of his eyes fixed on his back. _Why, James? Why?_

He hates him. He hates that James knows how he feels about Sirius.

It wouldn’t be all that bad if James’s eyes weren’t constantly teasing him about it.

Remus turns around “What?” but really it’s just a dumb question.

James has an eyebrow raised. Just one. The fucker can raise just one. Like Sirius.

Remus knows what James’s asking with that eyebrow. “ _So, you bring him toast now? You lovesick puppy”_

James’s staring at him in the eyes, fully aware of how much Remus hates that.

“Nothing” he dares to say, putting his hands in the pockets of his black robes, “You’re cute, all caring and shit”.

_The fucker_.

Remus is left there alone for a brief moment, staring at the ceiling while James follows Wormtail out of the Great Hall. It’s surprisingly bright today. But, he supposes, it’s the beginning of September, still the summer. Part of him is already sweating in his robes. It wouldn’t be bad if it rained.

He has the urge to dump the toast on the table and forget about it, but he doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t. What a pathetic fool he is.

He sighs and hurries back to James and Peter out of the Great Hall.

 

* * *

 

 

When they enter in the Charms classroom, they spot Sirius already there, occupying some of the last and second but last row desks with his stuff to save seats for them.

“Thanks, Pads” Pete says, dumping his books on the last row desk. James smiles at him and goes to seat next to Pete, so Remus is left with no choice but sitting beside Sirius.

Oh well, there’s worse.

“Don’t you want the seat on the right?” Sirius asks him as soon as he’s sat down.

Remus frowns “Why?”

“Well, I’m left-handed, if you seat on the left and I seat on the right we’re just gonna elbow each other for the whole thing”.

Remus stares at him and at the smirk he’s already sporting at this ungodly hour of the morning “Fair enough” he says, changing seats with the Sirius “I take it went well with Dumbledore?” he asks. What he really should say is _I take it went well, considering you’re smiling_ , but he’s not in the habit of letting Sirius know he pays attention to his smiles.

“Kind of” Sirius says, leaning on top of the desk and resting his head on his arms “They might have to suspend owl post for me all together, ‘cause Dumbledore says filtering it would be pointless, they might disguise the letter as if it was coming from someone else” he explains with his eyes closed “But that’s fine, it means I’m gonna receive post for me under James’ name”.

Remus listens, not really knowing what to do with his hands. Should he get his stuff out on the desk? How much ‘til the lesson starts?

Sirius opens one eye and looks at Remus, almost inspecting him.

“I’ll have to warn about it whoever might write to me. Mainly James’ parents and possibly also…” Sirius stops speaking and starts biting his lower lip how he always does when he’s concentrated.

Remus stays silent, waiting for him to finish. It’s not like he has any ideas who Sirius might be thinking about. All the people Sirius cares about are either at Hogwarts or are part of James’ family.

“…Andy?” Sirius asks, more to himself than to Remus.

Remus makes a weird face “Andy who?”

Sirius doesn’t answer him immediately. Instead he messes up his hair with one hand while he stands up, welcoming Flitwick into the classroom.

Remus stands up too a bit too quickly, bumping his hip into Sirius’ one “Oh, sorry”

Flitwick welcomes the class and invites them to sit down again.

The students all hurry to get their books and wands out on the tables.

“My cousin” Sirius whispers to Remus while rummaging through his bag “Andromeda”.

“Oh, Andy. Right”.

Sirius turns to him, as if he were confused by Remus’ words “What?”

“What?”

Sirius stares at him, smiling. Remus hates it when he does that. He stares at the light grey of his eyes and can’t help but wonder how such a cold colour can keep so much warm in it. Why are Sirius’ eyes always so bright?

After a few seconds Sirius shakes his head, still smiling at Remus.

“Nothing” he says, turning to Flitwick to pay attention to the beginning of the lesson.

Nothing, of course. Not now, not ever. Remus tries not to get himself into a train of thought regarding Sirius’ words and actions. It’s way too early for him to reason properly and besides, he never comes out with anything by analysing the shit out of Sirius’ behaviour. And is there really a point in it? He knows they care about each other and he knows that that’s something huge. That should be enough, he should be – _wait a minute_.

He stretches to reach his rucksack on the floor, gets out a bundle of paper towels and gives it to Sirius.

The boy turns to look at it, then again at Remus “What is it?”

“Toast” Remus answers, staring straight at Flitwick, not looking at Sirius, never looking at Sirius “You missed breakfast”.

Sirius turns back and gets the toast out of the towels.

“Thanks” he murmurs, quickly taking a bite while Flitwick isn’t looking and getting jam on his left cheek.

Remus chuckles.

“Shut up” Sirius tells him, wiping the jam away with his fingers and then licking them clean.

_Fucking hell_.

“It’s cherry flavoured” Sirius notices “That’s not my fave, Moony. I prefer strawberry”.

Remus rolls his eyes “I know, it was Wormy’s leftover”.

“It’s a leftover?!” Sirius asks with fake indignation.

Remus chuckles again.

“What am I, only worth of the thing you didn’t want anymore?”

“Mr Black” Flitwick’s voice interrupts them “Is now the time to be eating breakfast?”

Behind them, James and Peter start laughing.

 

* * *

 

 

That same evening in the Gryffindor common room, James and Peter are sat on one of the brown couches in what has been their favourite nook for the last years. Remus is sat on the right edge roll, looking at Sirius sprawled on the rug in front of them.

It already feels like cozy autumn weather, even though it was hot outside today. James and Peter are discussing Quidditch strategies for the try-outs that James has set in two weeks. He’s been made captain again, but no one really expected otherwise. Peter, as usual, will be his precious strategist. Partly because James needs one – and neither Remus nor Sirius are interested in Quidditch – and partly because he’s actually good at it.

“No taking people out of pity this year, James” says Peter.

“I would never –“

“But you do. Remember last year? You almost chose a second year to play Keeper because you couldn’t find the balls to tell him he was shit. _Keeper_! A second year! You’re not making choices unsupervised, we can’t afford bad players, we need to win”.

“I do not choose people out of pity!” Prongs protests.

“I mean, you’re friends with Sirius” Remus says.

“HEY!”

Remus gets a pillow shoved at his face, but he’s laughing.

“But Wormy’s right. We need to win the Cup” James says firmly.

Sirius rolls his eyes “You always _need_ to win, Prongs, but you won’t die if you don’t, you know?”

“Might as well be dead” Peter says, “That’d be such a shame”.

“What would Evans think?”

Peter shakes his head and puts his palm on his face “Obviously I didn’t mean it like that”.

“Well that’d clearly be the greatest part of this tragedy!”

As James keeps on explaining why I’d be the worst if Evans witnessed his failure, Remus stands up from the edge roll and gets closer to Sirius.

“Is it comfy down there?” he asks, gaining Sirius’ attention.

Sirius smirks “Why? Your butt sore after sitting like an owl on a perch for half an hour?” he asks while making room for Remus to sit next to him on the carpet.

Remus smiles and sits down holding on his knees, elbows touching Sirius’ ones “Much better now”.

“Speaking of schedules!” James exclaims out of nowhere, and their attention shifts to him once again “Me and Wormy will figure out the training sessions ASAP and keep you updated”.

“Who the hell says ASAP?” Remus teases him.

“More like who the hell says who the hell…” Sirius replies, gently elbowing Remus.

“More like what’s up with you and linguistics.  Anyway…” James continues “Yeah, we’ll tell you soon so we can figure out when to plan our first prank so Moony doesn’t worry too much”.

_What?_ Remus thinks. Then he’s reminded of this morning’s conversation.

“I wasn’t worried about Planning Prank time!” he protests “Besides, the first one? How many pranks do you want to pull this year?”

“Yeah, James” Pete intrudes “If we stick to your idea of making a better one each year, there’s not gonna be time for lots of elaborate ones”.

“Nah, I agree with James” Sirius says, because of course he does “We could manage a few”. He’s sitting cross-legged with his elbows resting on his tights, casually looking at the pattern of the rug he’s sitting on.

“We shouldn’t try to pull more than one. They’d know it’s us and McGonagall would be furious. One is more than enough. Besides, since when do you have so many ideas?”

“I always have brilliant ideas, Moony” Sirius answers, smirking at him. He’s got a mischievous light in his eyes and his hair pushed back and now he’s tracing little circles on the rug with his left hand which is so close to Remus’. He’d listen to any of his ideas when Sirius looks like that.

But still, he’s not on the same page as them on this conversation. They usually pull one big creative prank a year with Remus’ help, while the other free indulge in several smaller jokes on Slytherins scattered on the other months. But that’s silly stuff, like stealing people’s clothes or messing with the stairs so that people don’t get around the castle.

The big pranks… those were different. Last year they managed to turn the Slytherin common room red and gold for two weeks and that hadn’t been easy. For starters, none of them had ever entered the Slytherin dorms before, so they had had no clue where to start with. They only had one Invisibility Cloak, and they had grown too big to use it all at the same time. Then Remus being a Prefect had showed its advantages, and Pete had finally managed to transfigure himself into a rat, which had made it sneaky little visits to the dungeons a reality rather than a possibility. And of course, there had also been that weird incident of a big black down being spotted in the Slytherin common room, but everyone had forgotten about that already, hadn’t they?

“What were you worried about, then?” Pete asks out of nowhere.

“What?”

“Since you weren’t concerned about our free time” James clarifies for Pete and leaning on his shoulder as he stretches on the sofa.

Remus looks down at Sirius’s hands softly touching the rug “Nothing, just… lessons, you know. Grades. The usual. Sixth year seems daunting”.

Peter frowns “I already told you, Moony, you’ve got nothing to worry about. You’re the smartest person I know”.

Remus blushes and grows rigid, his eyes still fixed on the carpet “That’s not true. I didn’t… you know, I didn’t do what you all did, for starters” he says.

James rolls his eyes and stands up from the sofa to sit down closer to Moony “That doesn’t make you any less smart, you know?”

“Yeah” Pete agrees, imitating James.

Remus sighs, he didn’t mean it like that. He’s not insecure about his intelligence, not really. But now…

Sirius bumps his shoulder against Remus’ “I don’t think that’s what Moony meant, I think he’s more worried about his schedule being mistaken and him having to take Potions for one more year”.

Pete snickers and Remus bumps his shoulder back against Sirius’ one again “Shush”.

“What?” Padfoot asks, eyes wide, and Remus chooses right that moment to stare up from the floor “We all know you’re pretty shit”.

“Who’s cursing the Muggle way, now?” Remus plies, staring straight back at him.

“That’s because of your bad influence!”

Remus laughs “I’m the bad influence? You’re the one who’s ready to pull more pranks!”

“And James too!” Sirius protests, pointing a finger to his best friend.

“Don’t point fingers!” James answers right back, proceeding to bite Sirius’s finger and then palm.

“HEY!” exclaims Sirius’ indignant voice and just like that he’s on top of James biting him back. Pete gets a foot in his face and Remus promptly decides to get back before he does as well.

During the first two years a scene like that would have got attention from the whole common room, but now it’s pretty common so no one is paying attention to the two gryffindors fake-fighting and rolling over the carpet.

Remus can’t help but be really happy at the sight of it. After Sirius ran away from his family in the summer he was worried shitless he’d come back to Hogwarts being a different person, all defensive, moody. But for what he can see now it certainly isn’t the case and that’s only thanks to the boy who’s now repeatedly hitting him with the nearest cushion.

God bless James Potter.

Or Merlin bless James Potter, he supposes.

 

* * *

 

 

Later on, on that same night, Remus Lupin is patrolling in front of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom off the corridor on the third floor. He’s still uncomfortably stuck in his uniform, but he’s allowed himself to loosen up the knot of his tie.

He never particularly liked Prefect duties, he’d much rather get under the covers as soon as possible than go through his patrol shift, especially in days like this when Lily, his usual partner, is on the other side of the castle. Although what he hates the most is having the power to take points off from the Houses. Yes, as James always reminds him, it can be very useful and it’s “the only way you’d ever allow yourself to seek revenge, Moony, so please _use it when you can_!”, but it also means having responsibility over his peers, which he dreads.

Maybe when he becomes a teacher that’s going to become more natural to him.

_Yeah, like that’s gonna happen…_

He should really stop thinking about that possibility altogether because it’s only going to hurt more when he doesn’t get it. But for some reason the thought refuses to leave his mind.

He’s walking up and down the corridor, as bored as ever, and his mind should be buzzing about all the stuff that’s going to happen this year and the classes that started today – which he’s quite happy about – or the prank that they might plan this year, or even the fact that it’s seventeen days to the next full moon, which is going to suck because the first moon after his return to Hogwarts is always one of the hardest ones, but no.

He’s thinking about that tiny scribble from McGonagall on his schedule this morning that said they have a meeting planned in two weeks that is going to destroy his dream of becoming a teacher.

Way to be positive about life.

Besides, the fact that they put him on patrol duty on the first day isn’t making him any happier. Yesterday they were all too tired after the feast to talk much in the dorm, so he was looking forward to the first proper night of chats back at Hogwarts today.

_Guess I’ll have to wait for tomorrow…_

He doesn’t get why they even need to patrol the third floor. It’s not close to any of the House dorms, so the probability of catching someone going around after the curfew is much lower.

Unless…

He stops walking and turns around to look at the statue of the one-eyed witch, his only companion for tonight. He never understood why the statue creeps him out so much. The fact that the passage behind it leads directly to Honeydukes and to the best chocolate of the country is the only reason why he doesn’t avoid it altogether.

The one-eyed witch is possibly the most terrifying thing Remus has ever seen. And he’s a werewolf, a Dark creature, he shouldn’t be so scared by a statue. Maybe it’s because her hands are weirdly twisted, maybe it’s because of her hunchbacked posture. Either way…

“Fancy some chocolate?”

“JESUS CHRIST!” Remus shouts, turning around as quickly as possible, stumbling on his feet and then backwards against the wall near the statue. He’s still trembling when he manages to look up and raise his wand to better see the face of the intruder.

Sirius Black’s face is floating in front of him, he’s shaking his head and suffocating a laugh “You scare so easily, Moony”.

“That’s not funny!” he protests, leaning on the wall to help raise himself up again “You know I’m scared shitless of this statue and this corridor”.

Sirius smirks and gets closer to Remus while getting the Invisibility Cloak off himself.

“I could get points off Gryffindor for that” Remus threats, even if Sirius knows he would never.

“You were staring at her so longingly, I thought maybe you were missing your treats and hoped to get some from her” Sirius explains, leaning on the wall next to Remus.

“Her?” the werewolf asks, confused and horrified.

“Or it, I suppose. But I don’t like defining statues as “it”, what if they get offended and decide to get revenge on us?”

“Why are you like this –“

“Either way” Sirius continues, ignoring Remus’ complain “Do you want some chocolate or not?” he asks, showing to Remus the bar in his hands.

Remus looks down at it. Well, it is Honeydukes. He decides to accept the offer and takes a generous piece of the chocolate bar.

Sirius looks at him and smiles, taking a piece for himself “So, why are you here on your own? You looked so lonely”.

 Remus raises his eyebrows “Are we just going to pretend you’re not out of bed after the curfew?”

“I figured you wanted company” Sirius shrugs.

Remus raises his eyebrows _higher_.

“I brought you chocolate”.

“Fine”.

Sirius smiles again. Remus can’t quite understand how he manages to smile so much. _Or is it only at him?_

“How’s the shift going?” Sirius asks, biting the chocolate and looking around, as if he was looking at a Quidditch pitch during a match.

“Well, Lily is not here, so it’s shit. But it’s been mostly quiet until you jump-scared me”.

“Are you pretending you didn’t see anyone or was it actually quiet?”

“I don’t pretend not to see people!” Remus protests.

“Sure” Sirius nods “Except that one time when you caught Alice Fortescue and Frank Longbottom snogging in the Astronomy Tower…”

“They were so caught up in each other! And they were on patrol duty as well!” Remus raises his hands to convey the gravity of the situation “What should I have done? Interrupt them?”

“Join them?”

“WHAT?!” Remus exclaims loudly.

“Shhh” Sirius looks around and then again at his friend, putting a finger on Remus’ lips “Keep quiet or you’ll get us caught”.

“Pads, we’re not here to make mischief” Remus says, getting away from the wall and from Sirius’s hands. He starts to walk around again, looking at where Sirius came from” I’m here to patrol and you have the cloak, what would we been caught doing?”

“I don’t know, making out?”

Remus chokes on air.

It should be funny, but it’s really not. Because he’s actually choking and starts coughing uncontrollably.

Sirius gets closer to him and gently pats him on the back.

_Again with this bloody physical contact. Again with Sirius’s hands on him…_

“Are you okay, Moony? Do you want me to go get you some water?”

Remus shakes his head vigorously and tries to stop coughing. He breaths through his nose, refuses to look at Sirius for five seconds, tries to get his chest to stop shaking.

_Jesus. Christ._

When he’s finally calmed down, he turns to Sirius.

“Are you high?”

The fucker laughs it off “I was just joking” he says “All I’m saying is Gryffindor Prefects are getting a reputation for snogging on patrol duty and getting caught by other Prefects. First it was Molly and that Weasley guy, when was it? Two, three years ago? Then Alice and Frank last year. You’ve got to be the next. But you can’t snog Evans, for obvious reasons…”

“Yeah, like me not being interested in her and somewhat having a solid work ethic?”

Sirius shrugs, not looking at Remus “Well, I was gonna say you wouldn’t do that to James, but that too” he says, putting his hands in his pockets.

Remus tries to look at Sirius’s face but the boy turns away once more and starts walking the opposite way down the corridor, like Remus was doing before he arrived.

Remus is stuck on his feet for a few seconds.

It always upsets him when Sirius doesn’t look him in the face when he’s speaking. Which, he supposes, is a bit hypocritical of him, considering he tries to never look at anyone in the face.

“I don’t, actually” he says rather quietly, hurrying up to follow Sirius through his steps.

If Sirius hears him it’s only because of the crushing silence all around them .“You don’t?” he asks, staring straight ahead.

“Have a solid work ethic” Remus explains once he’s beside Sirius, trying to catch his eyes “I mean, I didn’t send you back to bed, did I?”

Sirius finally looks back at him for a split second, grinning “You didn’t. But I suspect it’s only because of the chocolate”.

“Probably…” Remus admits.

Sirius is smiling and just like that, Remus is smiling again too.

“So, would you?” Sirius asks.

“Would I what?” they’re going past the one-eyed witch once again and even further down the corridor, near the stairs that lead to the second floor. They’re walking the same way they would do to get down to breakfast in the morning and getting away from the zone that Remus was supposed to patrol. But he doesn’t really mind.

“Snog your partner during patrol duty”.

Remus tries not to breathe heavily. He thought the topic was closed and forgotten.

“You know” Sirius goes on, starting to go down the stairs “Sneak away from your zone, go somewhere students rarely go, cast a silencing spell”.

Remus is blindly following him down the staircase and onto the second floor.

Why is Remus blindly following him?

“We should probably cast a silencing spell now” he answers, evading the question. He has a weird feeling about Sirius’s words.

Sirius turns to look back at him very briefly “Why though? As you said, we’re not doing mischief. You’re here on patrol” he states, but he’s too quick to turn again and Remus can’t manage to look him in the eyes and see what’s going on.

“Yeah, but I’m not supposed to patrol the second floor, Pads”.

Sirius shrugs, vigorously enough to make sure Remus sees he’s shrugging. Then he goes further into the corridor with the werewolf chasing after him.

“So, would you?” he asks again

“I wouldn’t snog Evans” Remus says, still evading the question “I wouldn’t snog my partner”.

Sirius is looking at him and Remus really wishes he wouldn’t because he has a feeling he’s blushing and he hates that.

“I didn’t mean partner like that” Sirius specifies.

Remus rolls his eyes “Then why did you say partner? It’s such a weird word, too easily misunderstood”.

“I didn’t want to say girlfriend, I had a feeling you might blush violently”.

Remus _is_ blushing violently.

“I also didn’t want to assume the gender of your hypothetical snogging partner” Sirius continues, merciless.

Merciless because he probably knows, just as well as James knows, that Remus isn’t sure he likes girls. They have never talked about it, not really. But it doesn’t take a genius. And whenever the topic is brought up Remus wants to die.

_Will I have to acknowledge it one day? And tell him? Should I acknowledge this now? Is that why Sirius is being all weird, does he want me to come out?_

They’re almost in front of McGonagall’s office now, almost all the way down the corridor and towards a different aisle of the castle, when Remus suddenly gets it.

He stops abruptly in his steps, but Sirius only notices when he’s ten feet ahead of him, almost in front of the deputy headmistress’ office. He turns to look at Remus, a confused expression on his face.

“Is everything alright?”

“Can you cast that silencing spell?”

Sirius frowns.

“Can you cast that silencing spell now, please?”

Sirius gets his wand out “Are we making out then?” he asks, still confused, but promptly casts the spell.

Remus rolls his eyes for the hundredth time, but tries not to react any other way. He’s already embarrassed himself enough for the day, he’s not choking on air again because of Sirius’ damned mouth.

Remus gets closer to the wall opposite to McGonagall’s office and slides down, sitting on the cold floor.

Sirius sighs heavily and gets down to sit next to him. They’re in the same position they were a few minutes ago, only sat and one floor below.

Remus is staring at the door in front of them, not saying anything, but he can sense Sirius’ intense stare focused on him, not missing his tiniest movement.

“Should I also get you under the cloak?”

“No”.

“You suddenly look pissed at me” Sirius makes him notice “Why did you make me cast the silencing spell?”

Remus doesn’t look at him “Why did you bring me here?”

“Erm…”

“I don’t like secrets spoken out in the open. That’s why I made you cast the silencing spell. If you’re going to make me spill my guts out by making me face the problem, I don’t want to chance the risk of anyone hearing, thank you very much” he says, trying and failing to glance at Sirius angrily.

“Am I that bad at subtlety?”

_Well you certainly weren’t going to snog me…_ Remus thinks, but doesn’t say.

“Would you have stopped right in front of her office? Then yes”.

“I was going to casually mention the meetings considering we were right in front of her office, but since you had other plans…”

This time is very different, because now that Remus is actively avoiding Sirius’ eyes, Sirius’ doesn’t do anything to stop him. He tries to respect Moony’s boundaries and not to make the uncomfortable eye contact that he knows Remus dreads.

That or, unlike Remus, he’s fine with his friend not looking at him for five seconds when they’re talking because he’s not pathetically crushing on him.

_I am so fucked…_

“How do you even know?”

“Know what?” Sirius asks.

“That that’s what I’m worried about. The meeting with McGonagall. You weren’t even there at breakfast, you didn’t see my schedule, you don’t know I have a meeting scheduled with her!” he exclaims and he really shouldn’t shout but they’re already under a silencing spell and it almost sounds like an accusation but Sirius already knows he’s upset.

Sirius puts a head on Remus’s left tight and Remus feels like dying.

He has the sudden impulse to get away from his touch, but he knows Sirius would be offended by that.

“Moony”.

Remus tries to calm down his breathing.

“Everyone has a meeting scheduled with their head of house to talk about future careers. And you’re right, I didn’t see your face, but the guys said you looked worried. And I already figured you were going to be worried about that, so…”

Remus laughs a bitter laugh “So you brought me here so I could spill it all out to you and that’s gonna make it fine?”

Sometimes Sirius just has the most optimistic views and beliefs about the world and Remus just can’t handle that.

“Obviously I know that’s not gonna make it fine” Sirius admits.

“Do you really? Isn’t it just one more case of your notorious optimism trying to save the day?”

Sirius gets his hand away from his tight and Remus thinks maybe he really should have stopped talking.

“Look” he says, weirdly putting his hands in front of him as to try and calm Remus down “I’m not stupid”.

_Sometimes I think you are._

“I know I can’t fix all of your problems. You already told me, several times”.

Remus is only getting angry now “Yeah, and you got the message right away, right?”

They used to argue about this. All the time. Sirius just happened to be the world’s worst people helper.

_Not that’s not true. It’s not that Sirius is bad at helping people. It’s that he’s really bad at understanding when it’s time to stop. It’s that he doesn’t get that sometimes things be improved. Problems can’t get solved._

“Merlin, okay. I didn’t” Sirius admits “I didn’t get the message. I didn’t get the message the first time and I didn’t get it the second time, nor the third.”

“Nor the fourth”.

“I get the point, no need to rub it in” Sirius states “You won’t magically not be a werewolf someday if you just work hard enough. And I can’t make everything okay either. Now if we’re really like we can make the full moons more bearable by transforming with you, but I will never be able to solve everything. And I didn’t get that at first and I know I tried to be a–”

“Fucking superhero” Remus says.

“What? I was gonna say prince charming” Sirius admits “What’s a superhero?”

Remus shrugs “Nevermind, it’s a muggle thing”.

Sirius chuckles.

“Why are you laughing now? Keep going. I like it when you tell me I was right”.

Sirius should be rolling his eyes at this point, but he doesn’t.

“What was I saying…? Yeah” he gets back to it “I only recently learned that not all problems get fixed. I learned it when _my_ problems didn’t go away because I wasn’t living with my parents anymore. Maybe some will never go away” he admits and it looks like Remus is about to add something but Sirius is too quick to start talking again “And I know, it took me an awful lot of time to understand that. Not everything can be fixed. No princes or superheroes, got it.”

“Good”.

“But –”

Remus shakes his head “What, there’s a but now? There is no but. You can’t fix this! I will have to tell my employers that I’m a werewolf. I will get excluded from the candidates because I’m a werewolf. There’s no way to get around that.”

“I just thought…” Sirius starts, but Remus can’t get it anymore.

“Well, you were wrong!”

“I just thought” Sirius continues nonetheless “that maybe you wanted someone to acknowledge you’re not worried about your class schedule and our pranks. And I don’t know, maybe talk about it…? About wanting to be a teacher? About the chance of not getting what you want?” he asks, uncertainly.

Remus sighs and weirdly enough he is finally able to relax now that Sirius has said it out loud. He rests his head on the wall behind him and stares at the ceiling.

“I get that” he admits.

Sirius doesn’t say anything.

“I appreciate that”.

“Cool” Sirius says and his hand is so suddenly back on Remus’ tight that Remus almost jumps.

“I don’t know if I want to talk about it” Remus says, quietly “But when I know, if I know…” he’s stumbling on his words so much it’s embarrassing “Or maybe… Maybe after the meeting itself is done, when I know how it went, could I, can I – ugh” _he hates this_ “Can I talk to you about it? If I feel like it? Or need to… I don’t know, rant?”

He can’t finish the sentence that Sirius is already answering him “You can. Of course you can”.

“Good”.

“Good”.

Will he ever stop feeling indebted to Sirius Black?

“Thank you”

“You don’t have to thank me” Sirius says “You never have to thank me. You know that, right?”

Remus smiles and can’t stop himself from turning to face Sirius and smile at him “I know”.

Staring back at Sirius’ eyes is the hardest task Remus has ever accomplished in his life, especially when he’s smiling. Like right now.

“So…” Sirius starts talking again, still looking at Remus while Remus is almost sure he can’t take the stare anymore.

“So”

“What’s a superhero?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. English is not my first language  
> 2\. I love feedback


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